Lessons in the Silence

Twelve Days of Gratitude - Day 12

Today marks the 12th and final day of the "Twelve Days of Gratitude" Challenge.  I am more convinced than ever that gratitude is one of the most underutilized treasures that sits within us ... and that a pattern of continuous gratitude has the potential to change how we see things.

Most importantly, on this 12th day of the challenge I discovered that a series of gratitude leaves you defenseless from the urge to be generous.  They simply go hand-in-hand.  My final card today was filled with gratitude ... but included a dose of generosity.  Not because I wanted to ... but because I needed to!

So today concludes the formal "Twelve Days of Gratitude" challenge, but hopefully sparks a desire of gratitude that has no conclusion.

And with that ... let the Twelve Days of Christmas ring in!

Twelve Days of Gratitude - Day 7

OK, I got a bit behind on my daily blogging of gratitude ... but my 7th card of gratitude went out today!!  It is amazing when you get intentional about sharing a word of gratitude day after day ... you get into a rythmn of gratitude.  You begin to see so much more minute-by-minute for which you can be grateful.

Today I was grateful for a great Advent message of being a peaceMAKER rather than a peaceKEEPER.  There is a difference.  Keeping something means to maintain.  To MAKE something means to create something where is doesn't already exist.

It is easy to have gratitude for those who are kind to us and go out of their way to be there for us.  As we continue the journey of the "Twelve Days of Gratitude" it might make sense to raise the bar and think of a relationship that is particularly challenging. Look into that relationship long enough until you can find something meaningful in the relationship for which you can be truly grateful.

Go out and MAKE this a great week!

Twelve Days of Gratitude - DAY 3

It's late again ... and I am finally getting around to my moment of gratitude.  I have actually been thankful for many things that happened today.  But it is no wonder we slip into seasons that lack gratitude.  Busy-ness blurs many things and often erases our sense of appreciation.  It would have been easy to just call it quits tonight.  But I had one more important thing to do ... appreciate someone.

As I walk through the "Twelve Days of Gratitude" Challenge, I decided not to create a master list of the 12 people to thank.  I decided I would let each day bring the dawning of whom I should thank. 

Today, I thought of my friend Al.  I have long respected Al, but this last year has taken my respect to a whole new level.  One of Al's 10-year-old twins was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.  The road in many ways has been horrific, but Al's response has been nothing short of heroic.  Al has been faithful in journaling on his CarePage for all who care ... and there are hundreds and more likely thousands who have followed his entries.  Through his entries, Al has allowed us to walk along-side him giving us vulnerable peeks inside what may be a parent's worst nightmare.  And in the midst of the darkness, he has allowed us to see the bright moments of miracles that are inevitable along the journey.

It just so happens I am having breakfast with Al tomorrow morning.  I will mail the majority of my twelve cards of gratitude.  I look forward to hand-delivering the card I wrote tonight.

For whom are you grateful today?

Twelve Days of Gratitude - DAY 2

The Twelve Days of Gratitude Challenge continues.  It's Day Two ... and it's late.  It is 11:15pm to be exact.  The day started with a presentation in Dallas and ends back home in Chicago ... with a focus on gratitude.  I have just written my second card of gratitude and will mail it first thing in the morning.

I am grateful to so many of the readers of my "Front Porch" newsletter who have taken the time to reach out to me to let me know they have taken-up the Twelve Days of Gratitude Challenge!

In the end, the hard part has been trying to decide which twelve people to select to send my daily cards.  It's funny, once you get in a rhythm of gratitude, so much surfaces for you.

Think back over the landscape of this very day.  How many people made this a better day ... at work, at home or in your community?  Did you say thank-you ... and truly mean it?

Twelve Days of Gratitude - DAY 1

It makes no logical sense!  At 12:01am on the Friday following Thanksgiving, there was a 2.5 hour wait to get off at the exit to the nearby Outlet Mall.  That's right, 2.5 hours!  The mall was kicking-off the 2008 Holiday Shopping Season at the stroke of midnight.  Other stores would celebrate the start of the Holiday Shopping with their doors opening at 4:00am, 5:00am, or 6:00am.  It just seems crazy.  OK, so there are a few doorbuster deals, but is it really worth all the time and effort?  If it was just about shopping the answer would have to be no!  But it is not about shopping.  It was about tradition!  And traditions can be a powerful thread that weaves the experiences of our life together.

In my November 2008 issue of my e-newsletter, The Front Porch, I challenged everyone to a new tradition ... "The Twelve Days of Gratitude."  The challenge is simple.  Send a note of gratitude to a different person each day, for twelve days straight, starting today ... December 1st.  I promised to do the same.

The "Twelve Days of Gratitude" isn't about thinking of the 12 most important people in your life and thanking them (although, if you wanted to take that approach ... that would be just fine!).  It is really about randomly thinking of someone, each day, that you just want to thank.  But when I pulled out my first card to write, I couldn't help but deciding to send my first note of gratitude to my mom. They say when you become a parent, you will really appreciate what your parents did for you.  I do appreciate it, but at her age of 90, I'm not sure I have told her often enough.  The "first day of gratitude" was a great excuse to do thank her again.  Everyone needs a mom who is your biggest cheerleader ... and I am grateful for Etna Blumberg!

Who should you thank today?  I hope you will join in on the "Twelve Days of Gratitude Challenge" between now and December 12th.  Come December 13th, you will see the "Twelve Days of Christmas" in a whole new light!

Not what you might expect!

I was attending our National Speaker Association - Illinois Chapter meeting about a week ago.  It was the best meeting I have attended in over 2 years.  It wasn't that I had any predetermined expectations of the main program of the day.  I'm not sure what I was expecting ... but whatever I was expecting ... well, it wasn't what I got!

Meet Rory Vaden.  He is 26.   And he is not probably delivering the message you might think he is delivering either.  Tell Rory that his generation is filled with a sense of entitlement and wants it all and wants it now ... he might just agree with you.  He might also not limit it to his own generation.  His message for success comes from a place of discipline and sacrifice.  It is a refreshing wake-up call that is hard to ignore. While Rory delivers his message with a spoon full of sugar ... you find it hard to walk away and hit the snooze on what you have just heard.

To reinforce his message he is on a national mission he has branded as "Take the Stairs".  And he isn't asking you to do something he isn't willing to do.  In fact, while in Chicago he climbed all the stairs of the Sears Tower ... and he is going coast to coast climbing the stairs of the 10 Tallest Buildings!  As I traveled last week, I noticed Rory was right.  No one takes the stairs ... they prefer the effortless escalators.  I'm taking the stairs ... and seeing things just a little more clearly with each step I climb!

Rory ... thanks for a great message ... delivered in an exceptional way!  Thanks for helping people see the realities of life and helping them wake-up ... rather than roll over and hit the snooze. 

On the iMPORTANCE of connection

If we are willing to wake-up to the lessons of life, we can learn them most anywhere at anytime.  I had just woken-up on Indian Rocks Beach near Clearwater Florida.  We were on our family spring-break vacation.  We had the whole family laid-out under the sun.  I decided to pull my iPOD from our beach bag to enjoy a few tunes.  It was there that my IPOD taught me about the iMPORTANCE of connection!

I placed the earplug cords such that I could run them to my ears from behind rather than from the front (who wants their chest tan to include a white streak from your iPOD earplug cord running across your body!).  I got all situated and picked up the iPOD to make my song selection.  The sun was brightly baking down and diminishing my ability to easily see my iPOD screen.  I finally managed to focus and select a song.  Then I tried to adjust the volume.  I could still barely see the screen, but with what I could tell, I was correctly doing everything to adjust the volume upward.  But there was no sound.  I kept trying to adjust it.  Even when I turned it to full-volume I could just slightly hear anything.  I was getting increasingly frustrated.  I mean, how hard could this be?  But I kept trying ... determined to get it to work.

Finally, exhausted from trying, I did what all smart parents do when they have a technology issue.  I begged for help from my 15-year-old daughter.  Julie walked over with confidence and took control.  But no matter what she did, there was still no sound ... except for a very distant sound when she cranked it to full-volume.  As I reached to readjust the earplugs in my ear, I discovered the problem.  In the midst of being so concerned about getting the cords all set under me rather than on top of me, I had pulled the earplugs out of my ears.  No wonder there was no sound!  It was only at full-volume that I could hear a slight sound as the earplugs sat on my beach towel beneath my ears!

Julie lost it.  Her contagious laughter got us both uncontrollably laughing.  It woke the whole family from their sunny slumber as they all enjoyed laughing at me ... certainly not with me!  After all had settled down, I reset the tunes and adjusted the volume to the perfect setting for this beautiful beach scene.

It was there that it hit me ... the iMPORTANCE of connection!  It didn't matter how much I worked on trying to fix the volume on the iPOD ... and nor did it matter who I asked to help me solve the problem.  My efforts were focused on the wrong problem.  The problem wasn't with the iPOD.  In fact the iPOD was working perfectly.  The problem was with ME!  I wasn't connected.  I wonder how much needless effort we invest on a problem that doesn't exist ... on something that only appears to be a problem simply because we are not connected

As I basked in the sun and listened to my tunes, my mind drifted from connection to connection ... friends, clients, family and God.  I thought of frustrating problematic conversations.  And prayers that seemed unanswered.  It made me want to return to the basics and recommit to connection.

Sometimes you need to put your hands to your ears and recheck the connection.  You might be amazed at what you start to hear ... and see ... and experience!

Focus on Commitment

   I think two of the greatest challenges we face today are FOCUS and COMMITMENT.  Last week I was able to work on both of them when I met with my Mastermind Group.  A lot of people ask me ... "what is a mastermind group?".  I best describe it as all members serving as each other's Board of Directors.  It is a nice blend of creative brainstorming, tough honest conversations ... and genuine encouragement.  But the bottom-line is that it is about stepping back to focus on what you need to be committed.

     It is easy to become victim of the "flavor-of-the-month" ... or, in today's fast world, the "flavor-of-the-minute."  There is a difference to strategically staying attuned to necessary adjustments in your journey vs. winging it every step of the way.  I like to think in terms that great planning leads to more insightful flexibility.  I know it is my instinctive nature to go off on tangents ... and some of those tangents can be incredibly valuable.  And in a paradoxical way, focus and commitment gives me greater freedom to go off on these tangents ... because I depart with the confidence of knowing the main foundation to which I can easily return.

And that is why I love my Mastermind Group.  I think each of us left with better focus and a commitment to our plan ... knowing that at our next meeting we would be held accountable to what we said we were going to do. 

But you know what happens after most planning retreats ... you return to the speed of life.  Focus and commitment are not about a meeting or event.  They are a way of life.  In the midst of my daily speed, I remember the advice my long-time business coach, Mark LeBlanc, gave me when we began to work together.  Mark said, "every single day you need to establish your three HVAs."  Those are your High Value Activities ... the three things that will move you three steps closer towards what you are focused on and committed to.  At  the end of the day you should revisit each HVA and ask yourself if you completed each one of them.  If you didn't, that's OK.  Don't give up ... just establish three the next day.  Eventually you will be surprised how your HVAs start to get done on a regular basis.  And if they are continually tied to your focus and commitment, you are likely to see your plan of the future become a reality of today.

They always say the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time (I always hated the thought of eating an elephant ... but I got the point!).  And the best way to stay focused and committed is establishing three HVAs a day.  And, of course, having a mastermind group that will hold you accountable!

Slowing Down to Catch-up

My last BLOG was about the CUBS ... you know, waiting until next year.  Alright ... enough already with the smart comments asking if I was going to be like the CUBS and "wait till next year" to do my next blog entry!!   With my last blog entry on September 28th, I guess I am still not very consistent at this ... at least not yet! 

Have you ever been sitting in a presentation and felt the speaker was talking directly to you and no one else.  Like singled-out!  That is how I felt at church this past Sunday when the message was on the importance of daily reading and reflecting ... journaling.  I have always realized the importance of journaling, but have never been very consistent at it.  And rarely do we get good at something if we are not consistent with it.  Maybe that is why I struggle with consistency on my blog.  It is a bit of a journal.  But I know the issue is deeper than consistency ... I think it is about reactively moving too fast.  Just trying to get it all done!  Saying YES when you know you should be saying NO or at least NOT NOW.  Journaling clarifies and crystallizes your thoughts ... helping you respond YES, NO or NOT YET at the right times to the right things.  It is like slowing down to catch-up ... a bit of a paradox.  I actually don't have any plans of slowing down anytime soon ... but rather to make journaling and blogging a part of the rhythm of my days.  i am not so sure speed is the issue.  I know a lot of people who go really fast ... but are very clear about what they do.  You know what they consistently do?  They reflect, read and journal each and every day.  I know if I do, I will see more clearly ... and I trust you will too.  Is there an alarm going off in your life to adjust the rhythm of our daily routine?  If so, refuse-to-snooze.  It is never too late to start again.  My next blog ... very soon!

Don't wait until next year!

  I am in New York.  It's the best of times and the worst of times ... the Yankees are celebrating and the Mets are on the verge of making history in blowing the biggest lead in baseball.  But I'm thinking about our Cubbies back in Chicago ... who are once again blowing their own lead.   Maybe they are just resting up for the playoffs and counting on the Milwaukee Brewers to just keep losing as well.  Probably not a good formula to count on someone else's failures to acheive your success!  Of course, that is not what the Cubs are doing ... they are just trying to keep things exciting to the end!  It is amazing how in playing 180+ games in a season how EVERY GAME counts!!  The same is true in our life ... EVERY DAY counts.  I hope the Cubbies can pull it off and make it to the playoffs, so we don't hear the same century-old Cubs motto again ... just wait until next year!  It would certainly be fun to see the Cubs in the playoffs ... and, except for the White Sox fans, it would give us something fun to think about until our Super Bowl Chicago Bears can regroup their offense!  What are you currently hitting the snooze on and putting of until next year ... that would be better to get going now?  Go Cubs!